Paralyzer
by DragonRose888
Summary: Gary's older sister, Mai, once pulled a plan that involved a restaurant, Ash, and several torturous makeover phases. Is Gary happy about the result? HELL YES. ShiShi OneShot Gary's POV


**Won: **All right! ShiShi oneshot! It has a lot to do with Gary's sister, Mai Oak. But you'll love it just the same, I hope. Based on the song 'Paralyzer' by Finger Eleven. It's written from Gary's POV, just so you know!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gary, Mai, Ash, Pokemon, or Paralyzer by Finger Eleven. If I did, I'll just say that you would know it.

**Paralyzer**

A Wonnykins Production

You learn the hard way to NEVER, EVER stand in the way of Mai Oak. EVER. The reason you learn the hard way all the time is due to the fact that she makes it that way. All the time. And yes, she will threaten you with a number of words and objects, but unlike most people, she WILL follow through with those threats.

Hence the story I refer to as 'Paralyzer'. Why 'Paralyzer'? Well, the song comes to mind, of course, but of course, I was paralyzed a lot that day.

My big sister came home a few days before that, you see, and she was determined to find out what she missed. She immediately took me out for a walk, rather forcibly, and, somehow, (I'm pretty sure she has some kind of truth serum, somewhere in that purse), I revealed that I was interested in someone.

Mai, being the nosy, hopeless-romantic that she is, homed in on the subject.

"Who is it?" Her tone was casual, but to the trained ear, you could pick up the maliciousness. She had ideas. "Anyone I know?"

I said nothing.

About five beatings, a spatula, and a rather temperamental Meowth later, she had managed to weasel out that it WAS someone she knew, and someone that she expected me to like, I discovered.

"I don't blame you," She stated, bandaging a gash on my arm, "Ash is a cute kid. I mean, what's not to like?"

I could think of a few things, and I told her so, which in turn lead to me getting my ass whooped again. I want you all to remember this: If you're gonna be born, don't have an older sister named Mai.

I didn't touch on the subject with her for a week, and I was glad. I should have known she was plotting, and I regretfully found that out when she managed to do several things in the span of two hours:

-She managed to get Gramps and Tracy out of the house for several days.

-She phoned THE most expensive and excellent restaurant in Cerulean.

-She convinced Ash to come over to the house.

I knew nothing of this until I checked the caller ID box. I figured she had been chatting with her friends. When I found out how wrong I was, I thought 'Gary, you idiot, get your ass in gear and get the hell out of town'. Of course, the thought came too late: Mai managed to barricade me into the bathroom downstairs just in time for the front door to open.

From my position, I couldn't see much; the key hole in the door is rather small. But that damn sister of mine chatted with Ash for a moment before practically dragging him upstairs and into her bedroom. I couldn't have been prepared for what had taken place in that room...

Here's what I can gather from what Ash later told me: After being hauled into her room, he was assaulted by utter darkness and then tied up to a chair, only to realize that Mai was the cause of it all. And, in fact, she did act alone. She flicked off his hat and examined him, then proceeded to do several things that he said he'd rather not discuss.

She must have done a hell of a job, though, because, around seven that night, four hours after being stuffed in that damn bathroom, she let me out...only to drag ME upstairs and into my own bedroom. As far as I knew, Ash was still in her room. I found out later that he was, in fact, still there, and still tied to a chair...with his clothing off. But for the sake of getting this story over with without me pausing for a 'break', I'm not going into that.

She attacked my hair with a comb, dressed me up, and scrubbed my face until it was raw, then put some sort of cream on it and let me sit on my bed and wonder what the hell had just happened. She made several more calls and then came back into the room with a shit-eating grin on her face.

Mai practically threw me down the stairs and finally, FINALLY explained what in the hell was going on.

"Your ride will be her shortly, and you'd better not mess this date up for yourself, you moron."

Well, okay, so that was all she said, but you get the gist of it, right? She'd forced me into a date, and, more then likely, she'd done the same to Ash. Does it fit? I thought so.

Speaking of said dark-haired trainer, she came back with him shortly after she explained her master plan to me. Remember when I said why I call this the 'Paralyzer' story? This was my first encounter with being paralyzed: when my sister walked down the stairs and then flourished aside so that I could see what she had done to Ash.

You think that's a bad thing?!

I've never in my life, before and after that day, seen his hair so relaxed. It looked...pretty. Real pretty. She accented on his Chinese background rather well: silky black pants and a red, oriental style top with no sleeves. I thought the bondage gloves were a bit much, but from the comments we got on the pictures she took of us, everyone says the effect was rather nice. And I've always disapproved of makeup and men, but I thanked her for the slight dusting she put on him.

We were both rather bewildered. My first thought was that he thought I was the one behind this whole thing, and my second was that he was going to castrate me. But he kind of shrugged and commented on how nice I looked, (I think the word was 'snazzy', but that could have been Mai), and walked over to stand next to me. He still won't tell me the truth, but I think Mai had something to do with how well he took the whole thing.

The rest of the story goes smoothly: We went to the restaurant; we went home, where Mai wasn't; I made love to him. All right, so maybe the last thing didn't happen, but we decided we wanted to work on it.

It's been about, oh, I'd say two years since then. If you're wondering, yes, Ash and I are still dating. Mai's also still here, and still up to no good, I assure you. I haven't seen Ash that dolled up since that day, but I really couldn't give a damn: half the time, he ends up wearing nothing at all.

But even though a lot of good came out of that day, I'm still going to advise this: Never be born with a big sister named Mai. Paralyzer or not, that damn girl WILL get you, one day.

_'Well, I'm not paralyzed,_

_but I,_

_seem to be struck by you._

_I wanna make you move,_

_because you're standing stilllll!_

_If your body,_

_matches what your eyes can do,_

_you'll probably move right through,_

_me on my way to youuuuuu!'_

_**-Finger Eleven, 'Paralyzer'**_

**Won: **Review! Just because it's a short oneshot doesn't mean you shouldn't review! Do it, or Mai will beat you with a spatula! RAWR!


End file.
